Trek Fans Trounced by Movie Troubles
01/06/1999 . Source: Jessica Martin 

Thousands of hopping mad Trek affacindos have threatened to march through Hollywood in protest at a lifestyle movie that focuses on the more unsettling aspect of the lives of Star Trek fans, or should that be … FANatics.

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What is it that is getting them so hot under their colourful jumpsuit collars? Well, this movie is shall we say, slightly irreverent of the All I need to know about life I learnt from Star Trek-style philosophy of the true hard boiled fan.

The movie includes footage of the juror who was disqualified from Clinton's Whitewater trial when she turned up at court in full Starfleet uniform, complete with phaser and communicator.

She seems slightly miffed when the judge didn't buy her speech about the ideals of the Federation being the ideals of law and justice for all species. Or maybe the law just didn't think the Clintons deserved some righteous Federation justice?

There's also a cracking look at the dentist who turned his surgery into Deep Space Six, insisted on being call by his Federation rank of Admiral, and made his staff wear an assortment of Star Fleet and Klingon uniforms.

William Shatner's view on fans are also given an airing. You can probably infer what his opinions are, when we tell you that his most recent book on matters Trekdom was called 'Get A Life'.

The other cast members are also teased into revealing the more bizarre side of their fan following.

When interspaced with a little peep into the average Trekker's sex life and the joys of making love and fantasising about Cap'n Kirk, you probably get a feel for the angle the producer is going for.

A spread of Photon torpedoes are being readied in the event the fans discover the co-ordinates of the brains behind this cruel cinematic outing.