Around the World in 80 Days - Frank's Take
01/08/2004 . Source: Frank Ochieng 

Poor Jules Verne must be spinning in his grave. Out of all the remakes that had been done regarding Verne’s whimsical classical story, director Frank 'The Wedding Singer' Coraci delivers a botched and banal affair of lackluster lunacy in his updated version of Around the World in 80 Days.

Buy Around the World in 80 Days in the USA - or Buy Around the World in 80 Days in the UK

Around the World in 80 Days (2004) Buena Vista Pictures
2 hours. 5 minutes.
Starring: Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan, Cecile de France, Jim Broadbent, and a host of cameos. Directed by: Frank Coraci.

Poor Jules Verne must be spinning in his grave. Out of all the remakes that had been done regarding Verne’s whimsical classical story, director Frank Coraci (The Wedding Singer) delivers a botched and banal affair of lackluster lunacy in his updated version of Around the World in 80 Days. This feeble and flighty excuse for family fare is nothing but a drawn-out session of sketches tied together by a string of pointless star-studded cameo appearances that barely registers.

One would think that Coraci’s narrative would be something that’s magical and imaginative given the ready-made blueprint that’s offered within Verne’s escapist vision. To the contrary, this millennium version continuously peters out with a spotty plot supported by the aforementioned distracting cameos that don’t exactly tickle the funnybone.

The formula to Around the World in 80 Days is the standard gimmick that has been done before tediously in other movies that had better results pertaining to zany characters getting from one insane venue to another in a certain amount of time. Previous flicks that catered to the craziness of cameos involved in chaotic play were successful offerings such as Stanley Kramer’s It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, The Great Race, and the guilty pleasure Cannonball movies. Even recent duds as Rat Race demonstrated the same shtick ad nauseam. The reality of Coraci’s fantasy fable is that his labored and loony field trip in World is a surprisingly disposable one.

The casting of martial arts merrymaker Jackie Chan is somewhat of a shrewd move because he provides the robust action sequences that gives this movie its partial peppy personality. As for the canned comedic moments, it’s a strained endeavor that gets lost in the shuffle more often than not. Still, watching Chan’s aging bones going through the kinetic motions is oddly inspiring and saves this mediocre madcap showcase from completely sinking into the depths of doldrums.

Conveniently, Verne’s chief World protagonist Passepartout is being substituted for the pesky Chinese acrobat Lau Xing (Chan). Anyhow, Lau Xing’s mission is to reclaim his village’s precious symbolic token from the Bank of England. In an attempt to throw off the English authorities so they can’t easily trace his tracks, he hastily hooks up with a local inventor named Phileas Fogg (played by British comedian Steve Coogan).

Noting how valuable Fogg can be with his kooky creations and needing to escape the scene as soon as possible, Lau Xing poses as the inventor’s right hand man. Also, he suggests that the duo embark on an 80-day journey to cross the globe in the spirit of a challenge. There are no specific transportation methods per se - they just need to be resilient enough to accomplish the daunting feat of combing the world the best way they know how.

As the tandem experience their 19th century worldwide trek, the obligatory high jinks ensue. Obviously, this gives the needed nod for Chan’s Lau Xing to butt heads with nasty foes courtesy of his trademark kinetic kicks in his spirited fighting entanglements.

The continual banter between Lau Xing and Phileas Fogg is typically breezy and playful. Eventually, the pair would make themselves a traveling trio when they decide to invite a curvy companion to join them on their colorful adventure in the form of progressive artist Monique (Cecile de France). Fogg, in particular, takes a hearty shine to the tasty tart Monique.

As a big screen travelogue, Around the World in 80 Days is indeed quite festive with the various lavish locales that serve as a boisterous backdrop for the wandering players to romp around. But the film’s pared-down script doesn’t seem to know how to convey much excitement beyond Chan’s cagey calisthenics and the nostalgic nuances of the polished settings.

Coraci tries to hatch this film as a celebrated party for his willing participants to parade back and forth in yet the spirit of this goofy get-together is never really cohesive or creative enough to give a care one way or the other.

The novelty wears thin after a while when the film methodically coughs up the likes of a mugging actor-turned-politician Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oscar winner Kathy Bates, John Cleese, Rob Schneider, and the Wilson Brothers (Owen and Luke). This smells more of desperation than it does a crafty stunt to fuel this film with a selection of who’s who in trying to name drop personalities that decided to go on this rudimentary rollicking ride.

As for the threesome of Chan, Coogan, and de France are concerned, they aren’t necessarily the ideal triple threat to carry along this spry but sporadically entertaining farce. Both Chan and Coogan’s pairing is too reminiscent of other Chan-related unions in other movies. In fact, watching Chan and Coogan begs to recall the weaker attempts to capture the buddy-buddy magic of Chan’s connection to Owen Wilson in the Shanghai movie series. Plus, the romantic rumblings between Coogan and de France doesn’t measure up to a plug nickel in terms of believable sparks.

For the most part, the kiddies will get a kick out of the assortment of gadgetry and gizmos that are featured to the hilt in this Disney-esque action-adventure comedy. But as a whole, Around the World in 80 Days is a hollow spectacle that’s bloated and clumsily cobbled together with missed opportunities. It’s too bad that this inflated romp doesn’t have the intended impact of a Jackie Chan animated chop to the head.

Frank Ochieng

(c) Frank Ochieng 2004