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Pecking Order
01/08/2007 . Source: Geoff Willmetts 
The mighty Avis starship heralded its arrival about the Earth in a fantastic lightshow lighting up the sky. These aliens looked very much like they wanted to party. As the distant and speed they were travelling was so great, communication had been restricted to brief radio transmissions beaten out on a tachyon pulse. A story by GF Willmetts
The mighty Avis starship heralded its arrival about the Earth in a fantastic lightshow lighting up the sky. These aliens looked very much like they wanted to party. As the distant and speed they were travelling was so great, communication had been restricted to brief radio transmissions beaten out on a tachyon pulse. They had received our TV transmissions and had already learnt out language. They were confused as to what we were until they recognised one of their cousins in our broadcasts, insisting that he must be there to meet them.
Earth transmissions immediately asked who was this great person, also reminding that terrestrial life-spans were not infinite. Panicked faces were relieved when the Avis played back a transmission from 'Sesame Street'. They wanted to meet Big Bird. There was relief all round. Had it been one of the Muppets, sorting out the scale of someone like Kermit, Fozzie Bear or Miss Piggy to human scale would have been interesting but not impossible. Big Bird was essentially a man in a suit. Once the introductions were made, he could leave the stage for some serious human diplomacy to take over.
So it was on that great day when the Avis lander descended on Washington Park that Big Bird, resplendent in his yellow plumage and wearing an important decorative slash, stood nervously waiting on the stage. His human friends standing politely behind him. Two Avis strolled down from their spacecraft, looking very much like Big Bird only three times taller.
Instantly, television transmissions were shown around the world of this first contact with an alien species. They might not look like us but what was feathers and height anyway?
'Hi, Cuz,' the first greeted Big Bird in a jovial way. 'I'm starved. Glad you brought something for us to eat.'
With that, the two Avis made short work of devouring the humans on the stage with Big Bird in shock as to what he should do next.
The second spat out a bone, 'And you've got so much food here for us. This is going to be a great stay.'
Devastated was the least anyone could say by this, especially as more Avis landed on the planet. The human race had gone down the tubes. The few of us who survived were the lucky ones who had hired Big Bird costumes for the party but we could never show our faces again. We all hoped relations were not cemented with sex.
GF Willmetts
(c) July 2007 all rights reserved
NB The use of Sesame Street, Big Bird and the Muppets is not meant to be seen as a denigratory way, just as an example of how others might see us.
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