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Dead
Birds
About the only thing that is original and unfamiliar about this
house of horrors horror film is that it is set during the Civil
War.
Phil
the Alien
Amateurish and low-budget skit on film has its moments, but mostly
in its first half. The film outstays its welcome.
Rahtree:
Flower of the Night
This ghost story goes in eight different directions at once, from
tragic social message to slapstick comedy. Some scenes are chilling,
but the film is unfocused.
The
Incredibles
Pixar does it again with a comedy/action film about a family of
superheroes. Just when they thought they were out of the superhero
business they get pulled back in. Of course, as a film from Pixar
it is computer-animated, but that is just the gimmick. The writing
is the real attraction.
The
Limb Salesman
This is an ironic love story set in a future world that has been
badly damaged in some strange way making uncontaminated water rare.
Society is now built around the efforts to find safe water. The
story drags more than a little.
Resident
Evil: Apocalypse (Frank's Take)
Director Alexander Witt takes over this elaborate gory gaming gimmick
by ushering out the second installment Resident Evil: Apocalypse.
The labored formula remains the same regarding a curvy and calisthenics
cretin-kicking cutie leading the charge in eliminating some serious
zombie butt.
11/2004
Shark
Tale (Frank's Take)
DreamWorks tries awkwardly in their blind ambition to continue the
delightful digital-animated ditties in the celebrated spirit that
has been previously so vastly successful at the box office. As a
result, the DreamWorks creative machine conjured up a spry but uneven
underwater adventure in the derivatively upbeat animated feature
Shark Tale.
11/2004
Sky
Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Frank's Take)
In the stylistically ambitious sci-fi fantasy Sky Captain and the
World of Tomorrow, Conran concocts a colorful creation dripping
with cheerful arty set designs armed with a refreshing old-fashion
storytelling sentiment that drives this opulent noir to its creative
core.
11/2004
Shaun
of the Dead (Frank's Take)
The devilishly dandy flesh-eating farce Shaun of the Dead certainly
fits the bill as a monstrously subversive parody that delivers the
ghoulish goods. With its British-oriented sense of stinging wry
wit coupled with some truly genuine gloomy gumption, Shaun of the
Dead is a delightfully sick-minded yet spry frightfest that captures
the twisted imagination.
11/2004
Ghost
In The Shell 2: Innocence (Mark's Take)
Mark checks out this popular Japanese anime flick and discovers
the animation is never flat, but demonstrates varying degrees of
dimensionality, frequently within the same frame.
11/2004
Hero
(Mark's Take)
China tries to make its own Crouching Tiger with a story of an enigmatic
stranger who has killed a triad of assassins for the benefit of
China's first Emperor. The stranger tells the emperor multiple versions
of how he killed the emperor's enemies. Visually Hero is stunning.
The telling is operatic in style but becomes muddled.
11/2004
Les
Revenants (Mark's Take)
A creative and intelligent recycling of the horror concept of the
dead returning, but this time it is used for non-horror purposes.
Les Revenants runs into pacing problems toward the middle.
11/2004
Primer
(Mark's Take)
This SF film gets the research environment and the baffling scientific
techno-jargon just about right. The story is hard to follow, but
that might not be so unrealistic either. Definitely this is a demanding
and puzzling film that does a lot with its minuscule budget.
11/2004
Shark
Tale (Mark's Take)
Dreamscape's latest animated film is set in a sort of undersea urban
environment and should entertain the whole family. The story is
familiar but the jokes come in a rapid fire.
11/2004
Shaun
of the Dead (Mark's Take)
This film is like a crossbreeding of George Romero and Mike Leigh.
Oblivious lower-middle-class Londoners slowly become aware that
the dead are returning at trying to eat the living. This satire
laughs at the tropes of the zombie movie, but even more at the foibles
of English life today. The first half is very funny and the second
half is at least witty.
11/2004
Sky
Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Mark's Take)
The Art Deco future as it was seen from the late 1930s is the background
for this super-paced sci-fi adventure. The plot is just a chain
of action sequences, one leading to the next, and the characters
are one-dimensional. Even the artwork is a little too dark, but
the images are genuinely exciting and they are what make the film
worth seeing.
11/2004
Alien
vs. Predator
Director Paul W.S. Anderson serves up a meager monster mash spectacle
that borders on the silly-minded and slimy by sizing up the terrorizing
tag-team of creature feature cads Alien and the Predator in the
obviously titled scarefest Alien vs. Predator.
10/2004
Catwoman
In watching the curvy Oscar-winning Halle Berry don the skin tight
suit in the sassy anti-superhero saga Catwoman, one must admit that
this special eye candy is something that cannot be denied. And director
Pitof does in fact lend this picture its glossy and mysterious allure
in a unique manner that’s inescapable to ignore. Beyond these couple
of minor observations, this cosmetic kitty with the conflicting
personality doesn’t quite cut it as the escapist comic caper it
could have been.
10/2004
Exorcist:
The Beginning
The scattershot incompleteness to Renny Harlin’s ill-advised follow-up
to William Friedkin’s classic creep show is evident in the flimsy
frightfulness of the overwrought and putrid prequel Exorcist: The
Beginning. For those that had to endure inferior sequels to Friedkin’s
twisted and treasured pea soup-regurgitating nightmarish narrative
(read: Exorcist: The Heretic), they may yearn more for this sluggish
supernatural tale to end as opposed to embracing its so-called Beginning.
10/2004
The
Village
One expected a terrific output from immensely talented writer-director
M. Night Shyamalan concerning his latest supernatural saga The Village.
Unfortunately for the normally resilient filmmaker, The Village
is a meandering and morbid chiller that is a labored muddy vision
of Shyamalan’s usual insightful and involving hedonism.
10/2004
Code
46
Mark discovers that Code 46 is a very odd piece of science fiction.
It is a film with some very nice material that tries some interesting
ideas, but it fails to capture the viewer. Its flaws outweigh its
virtues.
09/2004
The
Bourne Supremacy
Robert Ludlum's mysterious United States government assassin again
returns to the big screen from what some assumed and hoped was death.
Again we have a complex plot with twists and doublecrosses. Again
the infallible and deadly assassin is pitted against the agency
that made him what he is.
09/2004
I,
Robot - Mark's Take
In 2035 there is a murder at U.S. Robotics and a robophobic policeman,
played by Will Smith, believes robots are responsible. Mixing animation
and live action nearly seamlessly, I, Robot turns Isaac Asimov's
robot world into the backdrop for a prosaic summer action film.
It is not a film Asimov would have enjoyed much.
08/2004
Spider-Man
2 - Frank's Take
In director Sam Raimi’s explosively action-packed superhero saga
Spider-Man 2, he picks up the pleasurable pace of the web-slinging
wizard. Tobey Maguire is back in full form as the angst-ridden crime-fighting
cobwebbed crawler. Lost in a perpetual haze of conflict and courageousness,
Maguire’s Peter Parker/Spider-Man is a harried hero with a tainted
blue-collar badge that he proudly dons.
08/2004
The
Chronicles of Riddick - Frank's Take
Four years after Pitch Black, filmmaker David Twohy decides to follow
up his celebrated pet project with the disjointed and bloated sequel
The Chronicles of Riddick. Utterly ponderous and as clunky as a
crater rock, Riddick fails to capture the spontaneous spirit of
its predecessor.
08/2004
The
Stepford Wives - Frank's Take
The writing is on the wall when a casual comedy that boasts a high-powered
cast doesn’t have a single clue as to what it wants to accomplish.
And that’s certainly not a vote of confidence for a dark SF movie
looking to make mincemeat commentary about the awakening of feminism
and the imprisoned role of domicile divas looking to grow beyond
their restricted boundaries.
08/2004
Around
the World in 80 Days - Frank's Take
Poor Jules Verne must be spinning in his grave. Out of all the remakes
that had been done regarding Verne’s whimsical classical story,
director Frank 'The Wedding Singer' Coraci delivers a botched and
banal affair of lackluster lunacy in his updated version of Around
the World in 80 Days.
08/2004
The
Day After Tomorrow: Mark's Take
In this new movie Mark finds global warming launches a quick-freeze
ice age, killing billions of people. Roland Emmerich brings us a
special-effects-laden look at the human race reeling under the havoc
caused by the worst natural disaster in 10,000 years, a super-cold
cyclonic storm that covers the face of the planet. The story is
compelling and plausible enough for non-experts.
07/2004
Harry
Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Mark's Take
Harry Potter is back at Hogwarts and this year he has a crack at
the man who betrayed and murdered his parents. But Mark discovers
this is a family film, not a children's film. The adults may like
it as much as any of the children in the audience, but the series
is reaching a point of diminishing returns.
07/2004
Harry
Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Frank's Take
Author J.K. Rowling’s bespectacled boy wizard wonder is back and
better than ever. In fact, he’s matured and the subsequent growth
of this sorcery student is evident in the burden of angst good old
Harry carries around as his magic-in-training mode continues to
dominate his colorful yet chaotic existence.
07/2004
The
Day After Tomorrow: Frank's Take
Frank reckons 'The Day After Tomorrow' will most likely be viewed
as a long-winded and loopy meteorology mishap for weather forecast
freaks. Justifiably so, Emmerich’s furious yet flimsy convention
of cartoonish catastrophe gives a whole new meaning to the classic
movie title Gone with the Wind. It’s too bad that this global gloom
session couldn’t sweep away any sooner than its two-hour running
time.
07/2004
Godsend
In Godsend, Frank finds a run-of-the-mill child-cloning thriller
turned into a flaccid frightfest that is all clumsy thumbs, and
no controllable finger to decisively point this devilish dud of
a movie in the right creative direction.
06/2004
Shrek
2: Frank's Take
In Shrek 2, we are gleefully reunited with the amiable pot-bellied
giant and his colorful crew of supporters that include his new wife
Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and his old sidekick Donkey (Eddie
Murphy).
06/2004
Shrek
2: Mark's Take
There is distinctly less magic and fun in Shrek 2 as the title ogre
has problems becoming accepted by his in-laws. All the same cast
is back with the same voices, but the tone of the film is darker
and we don't learn a lot more about the characters that we liked
in the first film.
06/2004
Van
Helsing: Mark's Take
Not as bad as it might have been, but still no bargain. This is
a fast-paced and overblown CGI-fest that leverages off of the old
Universal monsters but does not actually want to use them. Writer-director
Steven Sommers of the 'Mummy' films handles action scenes well,
but is poor with directing acting or even giving us a very good
story. This is a film of dubious thrills and no chills whatsoever.
06/2004
Van
Helsing: Frank's Take
In this film, our Frank finds an exceedingly glossy but empty-headed
thrill-seeking monsters mash mishap that boasts competent big-budgeted
special effects but little else.
06/2004
Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Mark uncovers quite probably the best new science fiction film he
has seen since Minority Report and well before. A device allows
for the removal of painful memories by erasing them. The hitch is
that the memories must be opened and partially relived as they are
being erased. Charlie Kaufman's third script is demanding, but it
is delightfully engaging, intelligent, and even profound.
06/2004
Troy
Despite the showcasing of buff bodies clashing with conviction in
this historic sword and sandals fable, Troy is an elaborate action-adventure
yearning to sweep the moviegoer off their feet but the uneven rhythms
sullies its energized scope.
06/2004
Hellboy
(Frank reviews)
Franks discovers that in director Guillermo Del Toro’s fantasy actioner
Hellboy, there’s nothing generic or artificial about the movie's
flame-throwing crusader determined to stamp out evil at any cost.
05/2004
Hellboy
(Mark reviews)
Mike Mignola's comic book character Hellboy comes to the screen
in high visual style but none too coherently. Our Mark considers
that Guillermo del Toro does a better job directing than adapting
this story from graphic novel to screen.
05/2004
Kill
Bill Volume Two
The follow up installment of Tarantino’s ridiculously sensationalistic
sword slashing cinema is welcomed by Frank with eager open arms.
05/2004
Dawn
of the Dead
Frank sits down to watch Zack Snyder’s surprisingly winning remake
of the flesh-eating fable Dawn of the Dead.
05/2004
Cody
Banks 2: Destination London
The misguided adventures of the awkward junior secret agent continue
in the mind numbing and anemic sequel Cody Banks 2: Destination
London. Quite frankly, Frank reckons that Cody & company need to
consider quitting the spy business altogether.
05/2004
Scooby
Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
America’s favorite cowardly canine and his crime-fighting cohorts
are back for round two in the meager follow-up film, Scooby Doo
2: Monsters Unleashed. They would have got away with it too, if
it wasn't for you damn meddling cinema goers!
05/2004
Robot
Stories
Mark finds a film of five Twilight Zone-ish stories involving robots
in some way. They are simple stories - most with a strong insightful
element. All but one really says more about humanity than about
droids.
04/2004
A
Problem with Fear
Mark sits down for this latest SF movie and discovers a quirky science
fiction film with some odd approaches, including a man-made 'fear
storm'.
03/2004
Code
46
In this movie Mark finds a very odd piece of science fiction; it
is a film with some very nice material that tries some interesting
ideas, but ultimately Code 46 fails to capture the viewer.
03/2004
Six
Lost Worlds: The Dramatic Adaptations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's
Novel
Mark imagines a place so isolated from the world that it was beyond
the reach even of the forces of evolution ... where on one plateau
deep in the Amazon rain forest there is a land that has withstood
the ravages of time. Bring on those dinosaurs and prehistoric proto-humans.
03/2004
Paycheck
Sadly, our Frank discovers this film is one Paycheck not worth necessarily
cashing or depositing as Woo waters down his boisterously banal
and generic thriller all too convincingly.
02/2004
Peter
Pan
Visually vibrant and mystical in its charming presentation, Franks
happily discovers Hogan's live action take on Peter Pan is an exquisite
and sparkling celluloid fable that just pops into life.
02/2004
The
Return of the King
Inherently grand, vibrant, inviting and whimsically overwhelming,
Jackson packs an urgent sense of vitality into this third installment
that will certainly amaze those who were attentive to the previous
colorful two TLoTR epics.
02/2004
Peter
Pan
In this new movie, Mark discovers a feast for the eyes that he can
recommend with more conviction for parents than he can for the children
who might see it.
02/2004
Gothika
Who says that an overwrought and absurd horror/suspense thriller
blessed with a stellar cast cannot be appealing in its occasional
lapses? Frank gets scary with his latest movie review.
01/2003
Timeline
Frank finds that Timeline is a flashy SF actioner that boasts some
mighty fine credentials that many other time-traveling movie vehicles
might wish they could hang their hats on.
01/2003
The
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings completes its cycle with The
Return of the King, a spectacular film of complex battles and breathtaking
scenery. Mark ponders whether the final part of the trilogy delivers
all that it promises.
01/2003
The
Matrix Revolutions
Franks asks: 'is The Matrix Revolutions the ideal finishing touch
to an awestruck sci-fi film trilogy that captivated moviegoers since
its hedonistic conception back in 1999?' The succinct answer: Hardly.
12/2003
Scary
Movie 3
It’s that dubious time once again to indulge in another spoof-starved
Scary Movie installment. Sadly, Frank discovers more of the same.
12/2003
Elf
Frank discovers that Ferrell doesn’t disappoint when Jon Favreau
helms a kooky comedy that proves an instant delight to moviegoers
in the offbeat Christmas-themed flick Elf.
12/2003
Series
7: The Contenders
Six people hunt and kill each other in a futuristic satire of today's
'reality TV'. But Mark reckons this movie comes off a little phony,
exploiting the violence it appears to condemn.
12/2003
Mini-Reviews
from the 2003 Toronto International Film Festival
Mark comes back from Canada laden with reviews of the SFF movies
Bright Future, Code 46, Cypher, A Problem With Fear, Nothing, and
Le Temps Du Loup.
12/2003
Cold
Creek Manor
The creepy contrivance that takes the form of director Mike Figgis's
haunted house hokum Cold Creek Manor definitely wants to develop
the goose bump response for its anticipating audience. Unfortunately,
this stillborn by-the-numbers movie of terror is reductive and just
plods along.
11/2003
Kill
Bill (Volume One)
In the intentionally overwrought and gloriously violent-drenched
B-movie actioner Kill Bill Tarantino pours it on thick as he chaotically
pays homage to the movie genres that he reveres so deeply - creating
a concoction of ubiquitous escapist Asian kung-fu flicks along with
a dash of redemptive foreign spaghetti westerns.
11/2003
Underworld
If a vampire loves a werewolf, where can they set up housekeeping
together? Nowhere. At least not in a world where werewolves and
vampires have fought for a thousand years. Mark discovers a film
of non-stop action and non-start intelligence, with lots of gunplay
and the look of The Matrix.
11/2003
The
Torrid Movies of Torcon
Mark brings you his impressions of some interesting upcoming movies
based on attending the various trailer shows at Torcon 3, aka 2003's
World Science Fiction Convention.
11/2003
Spirited
Away
Frank finds Spirited Away an opulent and emotionally moving Japanese
children's animated adventure that's sure to capture the intrigue
and imagination of moviegoers of all ages.
10/2003
Freddy
vs. Jason
In an interesting yet sordid way, the invention of wanting to put
together a couple of the big screen's most prolific slayers and
have them duke it out for warped fun definitely had its advantages.
After all, who wouldn't want to see the morbid mayhem between Nightmare
on Elm Street's Freddy Krueger and Friday the 13's Jason Voorhees?
10/2003
Jeepers
Creepers 2
Since useless sequels that no one was particularly clamoring for
have bombarded the summertime, why break with tradition now? Frank
finds himself exposed to the latest in a long line of unnecessary
follow-ups with the release of Victor Salva's flavorless scarefest
Jeepers Creepers 2.
10/2003
India's
Hollywood Takeaway
Billed (inaccurately) as the first Indian science fiction film,
Koi ... Mil Gaya mixes elements of many films, especially E.T. and
Charly. Mark finds a movie which, while groundbreaking as a Bollywood
film, rarely transcends American cable fare.
09/2003
Spy
Kids 3-D: Game Over
The third installment of the immensely popular kiddie secret agent
series. While the previous two editions were joyful enough to behold,
our Frank reckons Game Over feels mightily labored and lean.
09/2003
Terminator
3: Rise of the Machines: Frank's Take
This juiced-up futuristic fable is delightfully on maximum overdrive
and Arnold S. does what he does best ... deliver his brand of robotic
ribaldry with the precision of an extremely well-oiled machine.
08/2003
28
Days Later: Frank's Take
Unconventional filmmaker Danny Boyle has the inherent knack for
stomach-turning entertainment that's outright disturbing yet oddly
poetic and polished in its gruesome suspended state of mind.
08/2003
Charlie's
Angels: Full Throttle
The concept of throwaway entertainment comes in all forms, shapes
and sizes. And as everybody and their grandmother already knows,
an exceedingly high dosage of boisterous brain-dead eye candy is
what usually satisfies the majority of giddy moviegoers during the
summertime blues.
08/2003
The
Hulk: Frank's Take
In revered filmmaker Ang Lee’s darkly jolting action-adventure The
Hulk, the perversely spry comic-book film adaptation continues on
as a booming genre flick.
08/2003
28
Days Later: Mark's Take
A modestly budgeted science fiction film has society being destroyed
by a virus that turns people into violent killers. While some of
the ideas and some of the story seem borrowed from The Day Of The
Triffids, the film itself seems freshly nightmarish.
08/2003
The
Hulk: Mark's Take
Ambitious but ultimately dissatisfying film version of the Marvel
comic. A man periodically turns into a not-so-jolly green giant.
Ang Lee does the adaptation with ill-calculated sensibility and
not much sense.
08/2003
Pirates
Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (Mark's Take)
This is almost certainly the most exciting pirate film ever made.
This fast-paced confection of an adventure has wit, a good story
and imaginative visuals. Johnny Depp gives what is probably his
best performance as a grubby yet stylish pirate captain.
08/2003
Terminator
3: Rise Of The Machine (Mark's Take)
The new Terminator film has fewer ideas to slow the action. The
film is in more ways than one just a machine demolition derby. The
future sends back what is supposed to be the most advanced Terminator
robot of the series but budget constraints and poor writing make
it less intelligent and less capable than its predecessor was.
08/2003
The
League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Mark's Take
An interesting premise from a graphic novel makes about half an
hour of interesting story, mostly for the introduction of the characters.
But the film needed a good plot to make it more than just a comic
book origin story. This one seems to have a plot that was patched
together as it went along. The film has a nice look, but the viewer
is never intrigued by the villain or his machinations.
08/2003
Finding
Nemo
In the movie Finding Nemo, our Frank finds a vibrant stroke of color
and candidness in a simple little story based in Australia's Great
Barrier Reef regarding the emotional connection between a worried
father and his free-spirited son ... who both happen to be clownfish.
07/2003
Bruce
Almighty
In the Christian cut-up comedy Bruce Almighty, the conscientious
Carrey is ready to embrace the wacky wonderment of his comedy roots
once again by returning to the gawky goings-on that garnered him
a cult following amongst the Ace Ventura crowd ages ago.
07/2003
The
Matrix Reloaded: Frank's Take
Frank finds the whimsical Wachowski tandem are at it again with
the second installment of this frothy film series in the form of
the visually vigorous and devoutly exhilarating The Matrix Reloaded.
06/2003
The
Matrix Reloaded: Mark's Take
The war to release humanity from computer-generated non-reality
continues in a pretentious and violent film that nonetheless has
a lot of style.
06/2003
X2:
Frank's Thoughts
Is everybody ready for a second helping of a particular mutant recipe
known as the X-Men? Apparently so since the first taste of this
action-packed delicacy mustered up an incredible $157 million at
the U.S. box office.
06/2003
X2:
Mark's Thoughts
This second film based on the X-Men comic book is a better story
and a more atmospheric production. I am told it is a better adaptation
of the comic book. One does not come to this sort of film for a
deep statement of the human condition, but for a summer action film,
it is not too bad.
06/2003
The
Core: Mark's Thoughts
A spectacular set of disasters and a heroic expedition to save mankind.
Some real science and some nonsense mix. If the film does not quite
click, it is probably because we have higher standards than we had
for science fiction films in their heyday of the 1950s and 1960s.
05/2003
The
Core: Frank's Thoughts
The Core definitely had the making for fascinating sci-fi stimulation.
The attempt to turn the scientific discipline of electromagnetism
into a robust and cheeky mainstream entertainment seemed quite challenging
in concept.
05/2003
Teknolust
This SF film plays like a throwback to 1960s mod film making. It
is every bit as colorful as intended, but not nearly as intelligent.
It plays like a college skit but for the digital special effects
that allow four Tilda Swintons on the screen at one time.
05/2003
Agent
Cody Banks
So the likable Malcolm in the Middle pint-sized TV star Frankie
Muniz is at it again on the big screen? This time, the movie handlers
are trying to package him as a junior James Bond for the kiddie
crowd.
05/2003
The
Film Without Fear - or Shame.
In Daredevil, Mark R Leeper finds an uninspired comic book superhero
film that borrows everything, while inventing and contributing almost
nothing. An uninspiring actor plays an uninspired idea for a superhero
in a familiar setting … one that feels like it was stamped out at
a factory.
04/2003
Darkness
Falls
Darkness Falls is the latest slight and extraneous scarefest to
hit the big screen in dull, meaningless fashion. Director Jonathan
Liebesman helms a ridiculously familiar and arbitrary cheesy horror
tale that doesn't effectively challenge the simple conventions of
the fright genre.
03/2003
Daredevil
There were elements of grandeur thrust upon writer-director Mark
Steven Johnson’s dark superhero flick Daredevil. Despite the anticipation
of the famed stoic blind crime-fighter’s arrival on the big screen,
Johnson’s sensationalistic fantasy is, surprisingly, another arbitrary
stunt-infested movie that has plenty of kinetic movement yet never
really goes anywhere with its energizing format.
03/2003
Lord
of the Rings: The Two Towers
Jackson proudly pounds his chest, and rightly so, as he ushers in
the second instalment of Tolkien's universe in the masterful sequel
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Frank finds a film that is
intriguingly breathtaking and sensually stimulating, The Two Towers
is even more cinematically sound than the first outing.
02/2003
Star
Trek Nemeis
Frank asks will diehard and casual Trekkers come out the woodwork
to check out the tenth Star Trek feature at the local box office?
Does a Klingon need a facelift? Somehow there's a sense of urgency
for trekkies to revel in the experience that is the legendary Star
Trek franchise.
02/2003
The
Tuxedo
Frank reckons he would prefer a lobotomy to the punishing and mirthless
antics of the new Jackie Chan lame chop-and-sock action-packed fantasy
spy comedy The Tuxedo. That can't be good!
02/2003
Solaris
Franks plonks himself down for another movie, and discovers the
Soderbergh-Clooney collaboration continues to roll along, as they
serve up an ambitious but intermittently uneven science fiction
love story in the visually stimulating space opera Solaris.
02/2003
The
Two Towers Inferno
The latest big screen instalment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy
could be your last movie of 2002, or your first of 2003; but you're
going to see it. Right?
01/2003
Solaris
An alien planet gives George Clooney a perfect facsimile of the
wife he lost on earth in SOLARIS. The philosophical film has some
engaging ideas, but viewers expecting romantic sci-fi will probably
be disappointed and perhaps even bored. This is dense, introspective,
and intelligent science fiction as distinguished from entertainment.
01/2003
Star
Trek: Nemesis
As the "Star Trek" series seems slowly to lose steam, Mark finds
the movie contains one late - uncharacteristic - burst of life and
energy, a science-fictional examination of the nature-nurture question.
Picard and Data each meet physically identical copies of their former
selves and each must deal with the similarities and differences.
The question faced is, what makes a person who he is?
01/2003
Oh-Oh
Heaven?
Bond is back with Die Another Day. Is our Pierce the best thing
since Sean put on a bow-tie and gave Goldfinger a slapping? Or is
this more so-so heaven, rather than double 'O' heaven?
12/2002
Pottering
About (Again)
Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts School for his sophomore year and
finds a new mystery involving a missing secret room at the school
and a struggle between purebred wizards and those who are interbred.
This is not a perfect film, and it does drag in spots, but it is
consistently inventive and rewarding.
12/2002
Triple
XXX
Frank's latest movie review isn't porn - it's Bond-age. A fuelled-up
Vin Diesel inherits his very own explosive playground where he gets
to play secret agent in the banal and boisterous spy actioner "XXX".
11/2002
Dragonfly
won't Fly
There's a sound reason for swatting away the preposterous "Dragonfly",
Kevin Costner's latest sappy supernatural romantic thriller. Frank's
just the man to tell you what it is.
10/2002
Pluto
Nash
Frank puts his feet up for the space-aged spoof 'The Adventures
of Pluto Nash', only to discover this film is about as funny as
an asteroid stuck up one's rectum.
10/2002
Lilo
and Stitch
More SF movie action for Frank. 'Alien'-ation from another planet
takes a Hawaiian vacation in the cute but thinly breezy sci-fi animation
flick "Lilo & Stitch".
10/2002
Reign
of Fire
Flipping fire flaming dragons! Mark finds a movie idea that could
have been, well, so intriguing, but instead was mishandled, avoiding
showing the most interesting scenes of the story.
09/2002
Eight
Legged Freak
Our Mark discovers a film that goes for every pun and silly joke
it can muster to fill in the spaces between those giant arachnid
attacks. Pass the spider catcher, my dear.
09/2002
Signs
In this UFO horror flick, Mel Gibson must protect his family from
something real or imaginary that has not shown its face, but has
seemingly left signs of its presence around the world, causing international
anxiety. Hey, who burned those blinking weird circles in my lawn!
09/2002
All
that glitters is not Gold Member
Yeah ... baby! Are you ready to endure the same ol' exploits with
the randy rogue Austin Powers? How about going on a permanent mission
in an attempt to put the four-eyed goofball spy out of his misery
... please.
09/2002
A
Rolling Ball Gathers no Plaudits
Who's in the mood to play games with 'Rollerball', when this movie
is a mindless, insipid and excitable sports fantasy that rolls over
the cinematic senses, leaving you feeling incomplete? Not us, that's
for sure.
08/2002
Long
Live the Minority
Steven Spielberg adapts a story by Philip K. Dick to create a marvellously
faceted and incredibly dark vision of the future. Minority Report
is the movie, and this is the best damn review of the film you're
likely to read.
08/2002
Black
is not the new Black
The "Men in Black II" are back to save us from the out-of-this-world
vermin. But who the heck is out to save us from the utter piffle
of this sequel's 'alien'-ating existence? Read exactly why you shouldn't
be seeing this rubbish, here.
08/2002
The
Real Imposter
Gary Fleder's
new film 'Imposter' poses as a thriving sci-fi adventure. Its real
identity? A glossy-looking, predictable and lukewarm futuristic
yarn. Frank Ochieng reports.
07/2002
Remaking
The Matrix
The
Matrix II - better known as 'The Matrix Reloaded' - has begun filming.
Keanu Reeves is back as Neo, saving the world from the treachery
of computers.
06/2002
My
Spider-Sense Is Tingling
Marvel Comic's Spider-man finally makes it onto the
big screen. Mark Leeper finds the movie fast, fun and faithful.
06/2002
When
Clones Attack II
Mark
Leeper finally slips into Attack of the Clones. The latest Star
Wars movie is a mixed bag, but there is ample that is rewarding,
to make this film worth seeing.
06/2002
Bitten
By A Scorpion
Conan
the Barbarian (in virtually all but name) clobbers again in another
sword and sorcery adventure, but this time he is played by The Rock
and called Mathayus, the Scorpion King.
05/2002
Vampire
Blood And Egyptian Assassins
Rod weighs in with some neck-biting action from the cult movie Blade
II, and tops it off with a trip to see the Scorpion King too.
05/2002
Ice
Age
Our Mark found the writing warm in this new animated
animal buddy movie set during the ice age.
But was that luke warm, or boiling hot?
04/2002
Time
Gentlemen, Please
A glossy big budget SFX-heavy version of HG Wells
classic novel, The Time Machine, hits the big screen, but did it
make a big impact on Mark R. Leeper? Read his movie review inside.
04/2002
Like
A Flame To A Moth(Man)
Dennis
brings you his thoughts on Richard Gere's latest movie, The Mothman
Prophecies. He finds that the most amazing thing about this strange
occurrence tale, is that it's loosely based on real events!
04/2002
Neutron
Bomb
Did the movie Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius strike our reviewer as a
work of an Einstein or the product of the local village idiot?
02/2002
Lordy
Lordy
The Lord of the Rings movie is a gritty work of genius; read Mark's
full film review inside..
01/2002
Brotherhood
Of The Wolf
Do
the French make steampunk'ish fantasy horror films? Guess they do
now.
12/2001
Monster
Monster
Monster's Inc film review. Cinematic genius or a mechandising
frankenstein?
12/2001
Pottering
About
Harry Potter
makes the leap to the cinema. There dies the literacy rates.
12/2001
Pitch
Black Gets A Director's Cut
Video and DVD reviews this time – including the news that cult
classic Pitch Black is getting a longer Director’s Cut. Now
I’d buy that for a dollar.
11/2001
Not
My Fantasy: Final Fantasy Makes It To The Big Screen
That Mark, does he do any real work? He's skived off again, this
time to see Final Fantasy. The animations may be great, but is this
a movie that should have stayed a computer game?
10/2001
Atlantis
The Lost Empire - Lost Or Found?
Mark takes an afternoon out to cheer himself up with a cartoon.
Things Atlantis-related are back in favour - but will this movie
sink or swim?
10/2001
Ghosts
Of Mars - Who's Scared Now?
Things that go bump in the Red Planet's night come under the microscope,
as Mark sits himself down for a screening of John Carpenter's new
science fiction spectacular, Ghosts of Mars.
10/2001
Mapping
Middle Earth
A new web site has set up, and it promises to dish out the definitive
low-level map for Middle Earth. This site is even officially blessed,
so we might get to see some good stuff without the brand police
shutting it down.
10/2001
Give
The Monkey A Banana: Planet Of The Apes Returns To The Big Screen
The much anticipated re-adaptation of the Pierre Boulle novel comes
to the screen as a dark and a little dreary film with lots of chases
and fighting, but very little intelligence. Read the full film review
here.
09/2001
The
Dinosaurs That Just Wouldn't Die: Jurassic Park III
New dinosaurs … surely an oxymoron? Our film reviewer, Mark, explains
whether it's you that'll be feeling like a moron or not after watching
the latest Jurassic Park movie to stomp its way onto the theatres.
09/2001
A.I
- Any Intelligence At All ... In This Flipping Movie?
Has an opportunity to produce another SF classic of the same ilk
as 2001 or Bladerunner been buried along with Stanley Kubrick? Or
are we just kicking up a full metal fuss over nothing.
08/2001
Lord
Of The Rings Movie Gets A Middle Earth Premiere
The new Lords of the Ring film is going to get a premiere in Middle
Earth. Bag End is never going to seem the same ever again!
07/2001
1
Book, 3 Videos And No Funerals
Uncle Geoff has been blessed with another delivery from the Royal
Mail. This time the review bag was weighted towards the medium of
video - including a review copy of GalaxyQuest. Was Geoff impressed?
Was he heck.
04/2001
Unbreakable:
Well, The Movie Broke Me
If you thought all superhero movies featured the main character
leaping around with their underpants wrapped over a leotard, then
this disturbing movie will cause you a few sleepless nights.
02/2001
And
On The 6th Day, God Made Schwarzenegger
Arnie is back in a new SF blockbuster movie. We have seen an advance
screening, and this movie is going to be big!
11/2000
Harry
Potter Moves Into The Movies
When a book becomes a movie there are strange ironies that come
out in the wash. So will the magic drain away for everyone's favourite
boy wizard?
09/2000
Terminator
T3 Gets Solid
He'll be back. Or will he. More news from the casting couch of the
forthcoming Terminator T3 movie. Heck, they'll have to go some to
beat T2 - now that was a movie!
09/2000
Space
Cowboys Hit The USA
A new NASA movie hits the big screen. But is it another Apollo 13,
or is it Abbott and Costello Go to Mars? We dish the cinematic dirt
on this new space movie.
08/2000
Screamers
Geoff has been busy scouting out his rural Somerset video shop.
Screamers is his video of the month. Nice.
08/2000
X-Men
Film Review
Man, was this ever a great comic-strip. But has the mutant superhero
genre translated into celluloid? Ace film reviewer Berge brings
you the scoop.
08/2000
X-Men
The Movie - Are You X-Cited Now?
Superhero movies have had a mixed track record - from the heights
of the first BatMan movie to the lows of The Incredible Hulk. So
will the new X-Men movie beat Marvel's tendency to produce tripe
and set your heart racing?
07/2000
Chicken
Run: Film Review
An animated Great Escape movie, Wallace and Gromit style. Have they
laid a golden egg, or a free range disaster?
07/2000
Titan
A.E: Film Review
It must be the month for cartoons, because here comes a science
fiction movie set after some nasty 'ol aliens have blown up the
Earth. But will you be animated after you've seen it?
07/2000
Does
Geoff Like The Phantom Menance?
Geoff waited until the Phantom Menace came out on video before he
put pen on paper for a review. Do you understand? He purposefully
missed out on a cinema trip to bring you a video review. Now that's
dedication to the job!
07/2000
Battlefield
Earth Review
The movie Battlefield Earth has come in for a right pasting by many
of the critics. But forget about Travolta's controversial religion
and get the inside gen on what our man Berge thought of this film,
instead.
06/2000
Galaxyquest
Review
Nothing slides down easier than a good old Trek-piss take. At least,
that's what our resident film critic Berge thought of this new movie.
Sigourney as a blonde? We'll buy that for a dollar!
06/2000
X-Men
X-Travaganza
The X-Men comic is Stan Lee's best-selling title. Millions of kids
the world over thrill to the adventures of these mutant superheroes.
But will it be enough to break the 'Curse of Marvel' when it comes
to their attempts to cash in on Hollywood? Hey, can anyone say Incredible
Hulk.
04/2000
Matrix
II - New Details Leaked
Neo's coming back to kick some AI butt. Or is he? Who can say, when
the script for the sequel to The Matrix reads like it was written
by Philip K Dick during a particularly Bad Paranoia day.
04/2000
Pitch
This: Pitch Black
Another film review. A more sensible science fiction flick this
time, though. It's even got some half-decent special effects. Pity
the plot is Aliens with Wings.
04/2000
So
Just What Planet Was He From, Then?
It may sound like the start of a porn movie. You know. Male alien
from a planet without females comes down to Earth, intention, to
chat up some Terran totty. But it isn't - it's a film review for
a movie coming to a theatre near you soon (no 18 certificate, honest).
04/2000
Phantom
Menace Gets A Lick Of PC Paint And The Wicked Emperor Is Revealed
The next Star Wars movie is to go through an extensive multi-ethnic
audit that would test even the social skills of wise little Yoda,
while the evil emperor's secret identity is also to be unmasked
in the new film.
03/2000
Blair
Witch Ii? Groan. Now That's Scary
Someone is making a couple of follow-ups to the Blair Witch movie.
Why does trouble always travel in threes?
02/2000
How
Can I Get An Oscar Playing A $%#%^& Elf?
Dungeons and Dragons, the classic roleplaying game, is being made
into a movie. Is it art? Or will it be pure Suck? Now that's not
a terribly hard one to guess.
01/2000
I
Am A Hobbit And I Live In A Hole
The new Lord of the Rings film is leaking plot and pictures like
Captain Nemo's sub after a battle with a really, really large squid.
And to prove it, we bring you some of those juicy leaks - yum yum,
you hobbit fans.
01/2000
Bladerunner
Battle
Our supreme editor, Geoff Willmetts, argues the toss with Bladerunner
guru Barry Purcell about the finer points of this classic movie.
Was Harrison Ford a replicant? Was that cop boss from Miami Vice
a replicant? If I shone a really bright light in your eyes and asked
you about dead turtles, would you turn out to be a replicant too?
Hmmm.
01/2000
The
Flaws Of Bladerunner
Some say the movie Bladerunner was SF's finest & most intelligent
outing. Geoff says sod that - what about all the flipping flaws
in the movie.
11/1999
No
Max? Now That Makes Us Mad!
What no Mel Gibson in the new Mad Max movie? Just who makes these
%$#"&** stupid decisions?
11/1999
Another
Sexy Bondage Movie
10/1999
The
Astronaut's Wife? Get A Life
09/1999
What
A Load Of Rap - The Wild Wild Pest Strikes
071999
Not
A Perfume, But A Desert Planet!
06/1999
Shock
Horror. Keanu Reeves Does A Decent Cyberpunk Movie!
05/1999
Dark
City
Reviewer: James Berardinelli
03/1995
The
Sphere
Reviewer: James Berardinelli
10/1996
Barb
Wire
If you don't know who's in this, you haven't got a pulse.
1990s
Castle Of Cagliostro/ The Secret Of Mamo
Two videos, one character. The best thing in Manga - EVER!
1990s
Escape
From LA
The sequel to Escape from New York ... did we like it? Did we f%$£@!
1990s
The Roar
The IRA take on the Roman Empire.
1990s
Wolf (Alias Lupin III) Special
Our man (or possibly woman) in Japan gives us a sneek preview of
all the forthcoming Wolf anime that hasn't made it to Europe yet!
1990s
Texas
Chainsaw Massacre
Reviewer: Steven Conoboy.
1990s
Starship
Troopers
Reviewer: Boyd Petrie.
1990s
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