Phantom Menace

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Phantom Menace Gets a Lick of Politically Correct Paint & The Emperor is Unmasked

George Lucas and the Phantom Menace team came in for a heck of a lot of flack from US African American Rights organizations for the lack of ethnic characters in the new Star Wars prequels.

Not only that, there were a lot of complaints that the Jar Jar character and Gungan race in general was one large piss take of a certain Caribbean religion where smoking weed forms no small part of the proceedings.

Now our George has responded to those cruel voices with a cunning scheme of his own.

Episode Two of the Phantom Menace has now been scripted to include a whole range of Earth ethnic characters. While this is all very worthy (and very much the right thing to do in the circumstances), it does seem a bit of an odd commentary on a universe where - if there was ethnic tensions - you'd expect them to exist between species.

After all, maybe the Sand People with two inch fingers should raise a cry that all the Sand People shown in the Menace were of the three inch finger variety.

Or maybe the Scousers should complain that at no time in the Senate of the Republic were there any representatives from Liverpool portrayed on the big screen.

In fact, we don't remember there being any London Eastenders in the movie either.

Oh well. We may have a bit longer to wait until we see Gary The Jedi taking on Darth Narstee and scintillating dialogue along the lines of ...

"Blimey. Would you Adam and Eve it, me light saber is on the blink again. 'Ere mate, bung me one of them blasters."

In a more serious vein, there is a rumour that one of the characters in the new movie will be an Indian (as in of Pakistan, rather than the Apache-variety) called Siraj, another trainee jedi, who gets involved with the destiny of the young Darth Vader.

Jar Jar Binks is now set to return, and there is going to be a wookie in the film too (although whether this is Solo's furball friend or a minor walk-on for another wookie is still up for grabs).

The new Chancellor of the Republic (who the Queen, of course, thought was her friend) is also to be unmasked as the future Evil Emperor and tutor to Darth Maul & the other Sith student(s).

Isn't that just like a politician. You elect them into office and before you know it there's lots of cloned thugs in white armour running around the place and a Death Star in orbit around your homeworld.

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