Piers
Anthony tells it like it was
(& still is)
Fantasy
novelist Stephen Hunt trawls through the pages of writer Piers Anthony's
autobiography, and becomes unhinged by what he finds inside !
When I first saw Piers Anthony's new autobiography, 'How Precious
Was That While' sitting on the shelves, I broke one of the cardinal
rules my pocket book usually forces upon me - which is always, always
wait for the damn thing to come out in paperback before you buy
it.
Not this time though.
Let's face it. Frankly, I was curious. Piers Anthony - for those
of you unacquainted with his works - is the fantasy author behind
the best-selling Xanth series, a collection of pun-filled humorous
tales which I had devoured in my own youth. As well as his fantasy
books, Anthony's SF works like the Bio of a Space Tyrant series
remain among some of my favorite novels.
Apart from my familiarity with his works, there was a more personal
reason for wanting to get the autobiography. Here is a man who has
literally made millions out of writing fantasy novels ... topping
the mainstream fiction charts in the USA.
How different his life from mine. While my single fantasy novel
exploded from nowhere and disappeared just as quick, a brief brilliant
comet in the fantasy firmament, here is a guy who not only makes
a full-time living out of crafting tales, but makes the kind of
living where you can afford to build swimming pools behind your
ranch.
I was expecting to find a nice warm tale of authorly contentment.
Poor kid makes good, becomes rich and famous, fawning editors. Adoring
fans, first class travel on signing tours, massive royalty cheques.
A little SF/F chicken soup for my soul ... just like those doses
of Xanth I used to take when I was at college.
Expecting it ... heck, I was buying the book for it.
Instead, to my horror, I found that it's not just the small undiscovered
writers that get pissed on by the publishing houses, it's the rich
famous ones too.
If you ever want a book that will put you off a writing career
forever, it is this one. Having worked inside a number of publishing
outfits for the last 10 years in my 'real jobs', I thought I had
about as cynical and as jaded a view of the talentless tweed-wits
as it was possible to develop.
But, no, Piers beats me hands down. Never, on the surface of it,
has an author been treated so badly.
Basically, this is a tale of a man who - upon reaching stardom
- gets treated like a brand of soap powder. A cash cow to be milked
for all he is worth.
Don't get me wrong.
What he suffers is nothing that any other pioneer on the author
trail isn't going to get dealt in spades ... editors who try to
rewrite his works into insensibility; publishers who lie about the
amount of marketing money they are willing to put behind a novel
just to secure the rights to it; chinese whispers by less successful
writers; blacklisting for pointing out financial irregularities
in the publisher's accounts; reviewers who think fantasy is just
behind Black Lace porn novels in the respectability stakes; the
feuding SF small press and all its petty jealousies; SF cons where
the Capital F. Fans are more interested in Filk singing than SF/F.
Yada. Yada. Yada.
What is so thoroughly dispiriting is that this is what you expect
to get when you are a small and new(ish) name ... but when your
sales are numbered in the millions, you'd expect the boot to be
on the other foot.
You'd expect to get away with the kind of prima donna antics indulged
in by rock stars - hey, Heinlien, help me throw that TV out of the
hotel room. McCaffrey, Asimov, stop pissing on the wall and help
me moon these Locus and SF Chronicle journalists.
But, no. It seems that name writers get the same raw deal the rest
of us authors get. They just get a bigger bank balance to help mitigate
the crap they have to put up with.
Well, if that's all that's going, I suppose I'd take it too (given
the chance).
As well as the amusing and sad tales of %$£"£'ed
up SF/F publishing, there's also a revealing look at the man behind
the pen.
From a youth spent being dragged around the Spanish civil war by
proto-hippy parents, to the oddly large amount of time he spends
personally corresponding with fans, Piers emerges as a proud and
forceful author that you cross at your peril.
As a person, he might best be described as a science fiction fantasy
Victor Meldrew, with all the pathos and curmudgeonary that role
implies. As a writer ... well, his fine works stand for themselves.
How Precious Was That While should be the first stop for
any serious wanna-be writers, as well as the legions of Xanth fandom
out there.
Stephen Hunt
Copyright 2001 Stephen Hunt
Click here for the background to Hunt's own
tale of woe - Ed
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