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All that glitters is not Gold Member
Yeah ... baby! Are you ready to endure the same ol' exploits with
the randy rogue Austin Powers? How about going on a permanent mission
in an attempt to put the four-eyed goofball spy out of his misery
... please.
Austin
Powers in Goldmember
film by Frank Ochieng
Date Released: 07/26/2002
Rated: PG-13 (for sexual innuendo, crude humor and language)
Length: 92 minutes
Produced by: Suzanne Todd, Jennifer Todd, Demi Moore, Eric McLeod,
John Lyons, Mike Myers
Directed by: Jay Roach
Cast: Mike Myers, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green, Robert Wagner, Michael
York, Verne Troyer, Mindy Sterling, Michael Caine
Distributor: New Line Cinema
What can one say about star Mike Myers and
his pop cultish pipsqueak creation Austin Powers? After all, a majority
of moviegoers continue to treasure the goofy antics of the international
man of mystery and his valued mojo.

Hence, that's why Myers and director Jay Roach return to the scene
of the crime by collaborating on yet another surefire, moneymaking
project in the third installment of the movie franchise entitled
"Austin Powers in Goldmember". And to boot, the cheeky
supporting cast are back to add to the numbing and nonsensical insanity
in this overwrought gagfest.
Let's face it...Myers and Roach are not fools and graciously welcomed
the opportunity to capitalize on milking what appears to be another
guaranteed comical cash cow for this tired and over-indulgent movie
series. Although the eurphoria is apparent for Austin Powers-mania,
why risk the need of squeezing out another installment of a revered
movie character dangerously looking to overstay his cinematic welcome
in exhausting fashion?
It has been three years since the last Austin Powers vehicle in
1999's "The Spy Who Shagged Me", a belabored and lukewarm
sequel to the original 1997 predecessor. Hmmm...guess the demand
for the British shagmeister was much too strong, huh? Oh well, I
suppose I'm the silly goose who's nervy and naive enough to question
the inevitable box office dynamo that is "Austin Powers in
Goldmember".
Most "Austin" enthusiasts will rejoice at seeing the
gang back in action such as Dr. Evil (Myers) and his bickering offspring
Scott (Seth Green) and Mini-Me (Verne Troyer), Dr. Evil's devoted
assistant Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling), Number Two (Robert Wagner),
Powers' superior Basil Exposition (Michael York) and the glorious
tub of grimacing goo himself--the notorious Fat Bastard (Myers).
And to sweeten the pot this time around, this punishing farce desperately
sprinkles a bunch of big name star cameos (pay attention all you
Tom Cruise and Britney Spears fans) in an obvious attempt to fatten
up the otherwise familiar, scatterbrained material. Suggestive and
insipid toilet-trained in-jokes and forced sight gags aside, "Austin
Powers in Goldmember" is pretty much an elaboration of the
same jerky joyride that was so occasionally effective in its previous
wacky incarnations.
In this jubilant but aimlessly free-for-all spy spoof involving
the toothy shagster, we find Austin Powers still trying to tangle
with his bothersome arch enemy Dr. Evil and his calculating cohorts.
Also on the agenda is the newest villain by the name of Dutchman
Goldmember (also played by Myers), a Eurocentric cretin who snacks
on patches of skin while boasting a glowing golden rod where his
once private part was situated (gee, how quaint!).
Goldmember isn't particularly as colorful as Austin Powers' other
nemesis Dr. Evil or Fat Bastard. Thankfully, Myers was astute enough
to fortify the script with the presence of hilarious bad boys Dr.
Evil and Fat Bastard because Goldmember has all the ruthlessness
and appeal of a smelly sock with holes in its heel.
When the groovin' Austin Powers isn't messing around with combating
his triple teaming of troublemakers in the likes of Goldmember,
Fat Bastard and Dr. Evil, then he's sent off by Basil for another
mission that sends him into a mid-seventies frenzy via the funky
vibes of that era. There, he meets and greets an Afroed-hottie by
the name of Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles from the super singing
group Destiny's Child). She works at Goldmember's disco digs known
as Studio 69.
Foxxy Cleoparta, a hot-blooded sistah reminiscent of the blaxploitation
babes portrayed by the likes of actresses Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson
and Theresa Graves in the '70's, is a soulful sleuth working undercover
as a vocalizing vixen. Both Powers and Cleopatra strut around looking
like disjointed and dressed-up associates of Huggy Bear from an
old episode of "Starsky and Hutch".
Eventually, Austin and Foxxy forge a connection that ultimately
takes them on a collision course to deal with what's on the agenda
at hand: the rescuing of Powers' estranged superspy dad Nigel (Michael
Caine) from the dastardly element and the continued battles to save
the world from villainous vermin Dr. Evil and hired hand Goldmember.
Myers and his co-scripter Michael McCullers definitely have a darn
good time with the overly naughty and giddy overtones of the film's
makeup. However, "Goldmember" frequently suffers from
an awkward presentation. There are a few clever and hilarious sequences
that are regrettably sporadic but nevertheless welcoming.
For instance, one will get a kick out of the scene where Dr. Evil
and sidekick "son" Mini-Me engage in a warped prison musical
with hard-nosed inmates in recognition of "It's A Hard Knock
Life" from "Annie". Or when Fat Bastard partakes
in a sumo wrestling contest in Tokyo and looks utterly gross in
the process. These two instances mentioned are terrific examples
of when this film celebrates its blasphemy in riotous, confident
mode.
But for the most part, "Goldmember" feels so busy and
congested at times that one wonders whether or not the string of
shticky moments taken place aren't too labored or overbearing for
its own good. Clearly this installment is more energized and garrulous
than the other two previous flicks.
This third "Austin Powers" sequel wants to binge on the
latest cockeyed concept that presents itself but the voracious appetite
for easy cheap laughs feels routinely monotonous.
There's nothing borderline about the derivative indulgences involving
pokes at body functions and the predictable humor regarding "member"-oriented
double entendres. Gee, where was the screenplay written for this
fizzling flick--in the men's room at the local Y.M.C.A.?
Consequently, it's safe to say that Mike Myers has played the one-note
joke about a wandering wayward spy and his shagging ways to the
exteme of the movie crowd's consciousness. Whether one will dismiss
this Blighty lounge act that Myers has successfully concocted or
embrace it with open arms, this persona and all that is an Austin
Powers well-oiled machine will variably run out of steam soon much
like a defective sauna room.
Just where can Myers go with this supercilious spy and his cache
of kindergarten-induced kookiness? The answer: probably on to a
fourth sequel with even more money-grossing clout tied up in a tiresome
recycled formula. Quite scary if you ask me, that's for certain!
Overall, the supporting cast are reliable and hold up their end
of the insanity taking place on screen. By now, the "Austin
Powers" players have gravitated to their roles with noted enthusiasm.
Knowles, whose leading lady credentials are wickedly in check despite
being part of this piffling picture, does a fantastic job at taking
a shot of satirizing the "Get Christie Love"-like roles
that dominated the big and small screen for empowered black actresses
looking to break out artistically in this polyester period.
And to cast the omnipresent Michael Caine as the aging swinging
parent to a cad like Austin Powers is an inspired move indeed. Caine
practically made his calling card by constantly playing intriguing
agents in the '60's in a handful of potent espionage dramas. Much
like Knowles, Caine has perverse fun in mocking the image of an
overdone genre.
Frothy and fractious yet hopelessy fragmented with an overdose
of the same nutty nuances that propelled the other predecessors
to pop culture purgatory, "Austin Powers in Goldmember"
delivers the clunky goods but without much punch despite the surge
of highly touted cameos to go along with the richness of raw, perfunctory
punchlines.
Here's a hint for the handlers of the next Austin Powers vehicle
should they continue to ride this gravy train: "Austin Powers
in You Only Shag Once, Not Three Times" or "Always Say
Never to a Shaggy Sequelitis Again!".
Frank rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars)
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